Christ ChurchProverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
America’s Move to the Grotesque
From Tempting to Consoling
Deceitful Kisses
True Justification
Training Young Children (To You & Your Children #2)
Christ ChurchINTRODUCTION
Broadly, you should think of training up children like teaching them to ride a bike. In the earliest years, you are doing everything for them. In elementary school, you begin letting your child make some decisions and balance for themselves, while you’re still hovering over everything. Finally, at some point in high school, you should let go, allowing them to ride for themselves before they actually leave home, while you’re still close by to catch them or help them up.
This means that you should think of parenting in the earliest years as a benevolent totalitarian dictatorship. It really should be full of joy, and you should do everything for them. Your job is to give them reality as best as you can.
THE TEXT
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
A GARDEN OF EDEN
Because of the gospel, we live in a New Creation, and this means that as we walk in the light as God is in the light, confessing our sins, forgiving one another quickly, and remaining in fellowship with God and one another, we live in a new Garden of Eden. When it comes to raising children there really has to be a center of joyful fellowship. Everything else works primarily because of that joyful fellowship.
In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth, and He placed our first parents in a garden full of “yes” and one “no.” While sin has complicated matters, the world still is relatively simple, as Augustine put it: “love God and do as you please.” But since sinners are crafty and litigious, this can be helpfully expanded to the two greatest commandments, and every principle that is necessary for life is summarized in the Ten Commandments.
There are three important points to make here: First, focus on the principles not the particulars. Every principle must be applied in particular but don’t confuse the two. Prohibitions against jumping on the couch are usually reasonable applications of “love your neighbor as yourself,” but they aren’t identical. Second, strive to keep your house rules few and simple. Don’t multiply rules like a statist. Third, make your home a “Garden of Yes,” with tasty foods, good stories, jokes, games, adventure, joy, and lots of “get to” not “got to.” While there will be some hard things to do, remember their frames and focus on the principles (Ps. 103:13-15).
THE NECESSITY OF CHEERFUL OBEDIENCE
The central command that God gives to children is to obey their parents in the Lord, and this means that the central parental duty is to teach this obedience through training children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:1-4). “Nurture and admonition” is literally the “culture and counsel” of Jesus. This means that we are required to raise our children up in a coherent worldview and way of life. One of the ways parents provoke their children to wrath is by their incoherent or inconsistent application God’s Word. But children can smell hypocrisy a mile away. Children should know that their family is committed to doing whatever God says, that He is the Lord of the home, His Word is law, including if that means Dad or Mom was wrong about something.
Another way parents provoke their children is by not preparing them for obedience. Good parents should think of their role like good coaches. Your children should know that you are on their team (refer back to the “Garden of Yes”), and they should know that obedience to God is the way of life, joy, adventure, and blessing. So practice obedience regularly. Practice the “plays” – the commands and responses, that they will need before church, shopping, birthday parties, house guests, etc. Practicing obedience with lots of positive reinforcements and praise is positive discipline.
THE ROD OF LOVE
The Bible also clearly teaches that painful negative discipline is required of loving parents. “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth… But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons” (Heb. 12:6, 8). Failure to discipline children is slow motion disowning. Discipline communicates love and belonging: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Prov. 13:24). “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him” (Prov. 22:15). Sometimes parents are stumped about how to get through to a child, how to get to his heart: “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol” (Prov. 23:13-14). Notice too that the Bible anticipates the objection that physical discipline will harm a child. Loving discipline does just the opposite: it saves a child from far greater harm. Remember, the goal is to win your child back into fellowship. And this means that the gospel, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restitution need to be regular parts of discipline.
BOYS & GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT (PT. 1)
Over the next couple of weeks, we will return to this point, but it really needs to be underlined here. From conception God has impressed His glorious image in every human being in the shape of male or female. Many well-meaning Christians have largely neglected this until adolescence and the further down the drain our culture has decomposed, the less children are prepared. You should be thinking about preparing and protecting your children from sexual folly, sin, predators, and confusion from jump. Encourage young girls to embrace their femininity, being lady-like, enjoying beauty, homemaking, and practicing for motherhood. Encourage young boys to embrace their masculinity, being gentlemen, working hard, being tough, and practicing to be leaders, husbands, and fathers. Don’t panic if they express some different desires, but cheerfully tell them what it means that God made them male/female in His image.
CONCLUSION
Remember that God takes us where we are, not where we should have been. In Jesus Christ, there is now a way back into the Garden, back into fellowship with God and one another. If you have sinned and failed, confess your sins, and get back into fellowship, get back into the light. Christian obedience flows from this grace. Because we are sons, we get to serve our King.
Clean Hearts & Blessed Fountains (Biblical Sexuality Sunday 2023)
INTRODUCTION
In January 2022, the Canadian government enacted Bill C-4, effectively criminalizing Christian preaching, teaching, and counseling that upholds Biblical morality for all sexuality. It specifically prohibits “conversion therapy” and defines that therapy as any practice, treatment, or service that seeks to call individuals to embrace the body God created them with and covenant marriage, with a penalty of up to five years in prison. It also condemns historic, biblical teaching on sexuality as “myths.”
A number of faithful men have called for the pastors of Canada to preach messages annually in direct defiance of that law. We, along with many American pastors, are joining them to stand in solidarity with them. With the recent passage of the so-called “Respect for Marriage Act,” American churches have even more reason to stand with our faithful Canadian brothers and to exhort and warn our own American leaders from going down this same path.
Here in this text, we are given an example of a faithful father teaching and warning his children, and his son in particular, to spot the deadly allures of sexual confusion and sin, and to pursue and rejoice in one woman in the fear of God.
THE TEXT
“My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: that thou mayest regard discretion and that thy lips may keep knowledge…” (Prov. 5:1-23).
SUMMARY OF THE TEXT
Solomon warns his son to listen to his father closely in order to stay far away from the seductive lips of the strange woman whose feet go down to Hell (Prov. 5:1-8). That path is paved with regret, sadness, sickness, and poverty (Prov. 5:9-14). Instead, the son is instructed to love the life God has given him and rejoice in the wife of his youth (Prov. 5:15-20). God sees all things, and He has fashioned the world such that a man hangs himself with his own sins and folly (Prov. 5:21-23).
INESCAPABLE DISCIPLESHIP
There is no neutrality anywhere; every square inch of the universe is claimed by Christ. And therefore, every human moment is either submitted to that Lordship or else it is defying that Lordship. This means that children are growing up either being taught that Christ is Lord of everything, or not. This is why God required Israel to teach their children that the Lord is One God and to love Him with singular devotion all day long and everywhere (Dt. 6:4-9). This is what the New Testament calls “the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). This nurture and admonition includes everything the Bible says about human sexuality. This means that whatever any human authority says, we must obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). This applies to all men, but it applies particularly to our children.
LIFE OR DEATH
The basic choice before us and our children is: life or death? The path of all sexual confusion and immorality leads to death; sexual obedience is the path of life (Prov. 5:5-6). This same choice is between, on the one hand: productivity, fruitfulness, and joy, and on the other hand: futility, barrenness, and sorrow (Prov. 5:10-14). Sexual obedience begins by submitting with gratitude to the biology God has given, as well as rejoicing in the respective assignments and glories that come with your body. And from the earliest ages, honoring those differences with all modesty and purity and joy. This requires joyfully teaching boundaries and enforcing them. This should be done in faith (not fear), trusting that what you’re actually insisting on is the natural goodness of the created order, like teaching them to walk or talk or sing. This should include lots of healthy physical affection, compliments, and good humor. The central “well of life” in a family is the affection, respect, and loyalty between a man and his wife (Prov. 5:15-19). Whatever you are saying, you are either confirming or contradicting by your marriage. The strongest protection from the Devil and all predators and lies is the unity of husband and wife (1 Cor. 7:5, Eph. 4:26-27).
APPLICATIONS
Run from all temptation: Joseph ran from Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39:12). Jesus says to cut off the hand that causes you to sin, pluck out the eye (Mt. 5:29). It’s striking that He says this again, specifically when He warns against causing little ones to stumble (Mt. 18:6-10). Run from sexual temptation, but also run from all bitterness, wrath, and strife in your home that may cause your children to stumble.
Repent of all your sins: “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God… For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God… Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth: fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry… put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him” (Col. 3:1-10).
Sin deforms the image of God; repentance in Christ reforms and restores the image of God. But Christian repentance is impossible apart from regeneration. You cannot “mortify therefore” unless you have been raised with Christ. But if you have risen with Christ, then you are dead and your life is hidden with Christ in God, and repentance is simply agreeing that all of your sin really is dead. And if it is dead, then you are clean and free. Full repentance includes confession to God, people sinned against, and new obedience.
Clean hearts see more clearly than dirty hearts. Sin-laden hearts have eyes with logs in them, and you can’t see dangers clearly and know how to avoid them, whether for yourself or your children (Mt. 7:3-5). There are several biblical principles for wise and faithful parenting (e.g. faith, joy, obedience, fellowship), but parenting is a lot more like cooking than a math problem. There is a general recipe to follow, but depending on a number of details, your taste must be well trained to know what is needed next. And that is only possible with clean hearts.
The Law of Kindness (KC)
INTRODUCTION
The Bible says that a man who doesn’t sin with his words is perfect and has tamed something wilder than beasts and serpents (Js. 3:2-8). If this is the case ordinarily, how much more so are we up against it in a world that has embraced profanity, perversion, lies, and violent words and has the technological ability to send and multiply them exponentially around the world?
But this is one of the marks of a new heart in Christ. No man can tame the tongue (Js. 3:8), and out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Lk. 6:45). Therefore, only a new heart from God can turn the tongue into a well of blessing, and when He does, it is exponential blessing.
THE TEXT
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Prov. 31:26).
SUMMARY OF THE TEXT
The Proverbs 31 woman is the culminating summary of Lady Wisdom who was introduced in the opening chapters of Proverbs, as the woman a young man should seek to marry with all his strength. While wisdom certainly is understanding, knowledge, skills, and virtues, the picture of wisdom as a woman is not merely a picture, but part of the point is that seeking, finding, wooing, and marrying a good woman, and building a home with her under the blessing of God is where wisdom is found and cultivated. So wisdom is woman to be pursued, and a good woman embodies that wisdom, particularly in her words. But ultimately Christ is the wisdom of God and on His tongue is the law of kindness (1 Cor. 1:24, 30). Therefore, in every Christian home, everyone is learning to speak that glorious dialect.
THE TORAH OF GRACE
The word “Torah” is the word for “law,” and it refers specifically to the first five books of Moses, but Christ is the end of the law for everyone who believes (Rom. 10:4). The word “Torah” generically means “guidance” or “instruction.” So on the one hand, the mouth of wisdom includes teaching the grace of the law of God, the goodness of the law of God, the sweetness of the law of God: “The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul… the statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart… more to be desired are they than gold… sweeter also than honey” (Ps. 19:7-11). “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments: and His commandments are not grievous” (1 Jn. 5:3). On the other hand, the mouth of wisdom guides and instructs in grace, in kindness, toward grace and kindness. Ultimately, these two things are the same: for against the fruit of the Spirit “there is no law” (Gal. 5:22-23).
LIES & FLATTERY
The law of kindness is first of all truthful: “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin” (Prov. 26:28). And while straight lies, cheating, and all deception must be renounced and repented of, flattery is often excused under the guise of being nice or kind. Flattery is false, insincere, or excessive praise, usually with the aim of either avoiding conflict or gaining some favor. Socrates said that flattery is a show of friendship but not the actual fruit. The evil woman flatters with her tongue; her lips drip honey, luring to sexual immorality (Prov. 2:16, 5:3, 6:24). Flattery is satanic, going all the way back to the garden (Gen. 3:4-5). True biblical love confronts sin in love (Lev. 18:17-18, Eph. 4:15).
Flattery may happen in a refusal to address sin or problems, and flattery may occur angling for honor or friendship or gifts. The Psalm says that those who flatter have “double-hearts” (Ps. 12:2); they have ulterior motives. But the law of kindness is sincere, single, simple (2 Cor. 1:12). The first Christians were characterized by this “singleness of heart” (Acts 2:46). The center of this kindness and singleness of heart is the fear of God; it is not “eyeservice,” or being “menpleasers” (Col. 3:22). It speaks always fully aware that Christ is in the room.
A TREE OF LIFE
As opposed to the hatred and destruction of lies and flattery, good words are a tree of life (Prov. 15:4). In particular, words of blessing are like good food for the soul: “The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life” (Prov. 10:11). “By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted: but it is overthrown by the mouth of the wicked” (Prov. 11:11). “A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth: but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence.” (Prov. 13:2). In other words, we are always “eating” our words, either for good or for ill: “A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled” (Prov. 18:20). “Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel” (Prov. 20:17). But the tongue of the wise is health (Prov. 12:18).
APPLICATIONS
Pray, write, and say blessings over one another: Husbands, bless your wives literally (Prov. 31:28). Here are a few: “Be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them” (Gen. 24:60). “Thou art beautiful, O my love, as Tirzah, comely as Jerusalem, terrible as an army with banners” (Song 6:4). Parents, especially fathers, say blessings over your children: “That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace” (Ps. 144:12).
When my children were young, I would say this over my sons: “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make you a mighty man; may you fight sin, Satan, giants, and dragons, through Jesus Christ our Lord.” And I said this over my daughters: “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make you wise and beautiful; and may your children and grandchildren rise up and call you blessed.” Quote/imitate Scripture and write your own for bedtimes, Sabbath dinners, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.
We want to continue to cultivate a culture of blessing: “And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The LORD be with you. And they answered him, The LORD bless thee” (Ruth 2:4). “By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted” (Prov. 11:11). And all of this is based on the fact that God’s Word and God’s ways are blessings. His command in the beginning was simultaneously a blessing (Gen. 1:28). And in Christ, His single-hearted word to us is hesed, His covenant faithfulness, His lovingkindness, to a thousand generations.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- …
- 6
- Next Page »