“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;” —Hebrews 12:14-15

  “Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing.  My brethren, these things ought not to be so.  Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?” —James 3:10-11

             Love is the greatest mark identifying the true Church of Jesus Christ, but love is also one of the Church’s most fragile qualities.  Love is to be one of the most basic qualities of our life together as Christians; Jesus told His disciples that everyone would recognize their connection to Him by their love for one another (John 13:34-35).  But mutual love among Christians requires hard work to preserve it.  The commands for God’s people to “love one another,” and similar exhortations, are scattered thickly over the pages of the New Testament (Matthew 19:19; Mark 12:28-31; Luke 10:27; John 15:12, 17; Romans 13:8-9; 1 Corinthians 13; 14:1; 16:14; 2 Corinthians 8:24; Galatians 5:13-14, 22; Ephesians 4:1-2, 15-16; 5:2, 25-28, 33; Philippians 1:9; 2:2; Colossians 3:14, 19; 1 Thessalonians 3:12; 4:9; 5:8, 12-13; 2 Thessalonians 3:5; 1 Timothy 1:5; 4:12; 6:11; 2 Timothy 1:13; 2:22; Titus 2:1-5; Hebrews 10:24; 13:1; James 2:8; 1 Peter 1:22; 2:17; 3:8; 4:8; 5:14; 2 Peter 1:5-7; 1 John 3:11, 14, 16, 18, 23; 4:7, 11, 21; 2 John 5).  God would not give us so many exhortations to love one another if it came automatically or if it was an easy thing to preserve.  Clearly, mutual love among Christians is a tender thing, one that requires diligence and perseverance if it is going to stay strong.

            If love is so important but also so fragile, what is there that endangers it?  The greatest threat to ongoing love among Christian brothers and sisters is the evil of bitterness.  People in the Church who might otherwise be close friends become suspicious of each other, are driven apart, and their love for one another grows cold and may seem to be completely snuffed out, all because of bitterness that has taken root and been allowed to grow between them.  Through bitterness, many people are defiled.  The springs of Christians’ lives, which ought to be a source of refreshment and strength, pour out bitterness like poisoned water that corrupts or kills whatever it touches.

            The great question that we Christians need to be asking ourselves, then, is this: How can we preserve the love that is to be our life, by preventing bitterness from arising?  To answer this question, we need to understand how bitterness begins and be on guard for the first signs of it.  Or if it has arisen among us, how can we dissolve it and heal relationships by restoring trust and peace?  In order to solve this problem, we must know what sorts of things feed bitterness in the human heart—and what kind of approach will transform a bitter soul into one that imitates the lovingkindness of our God.

            One of the classic Biblical passages on bitterness, and one of those quoted at the beginning of this paper, points the way forward.  “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).  The one sure way to prevent bitterness from taking root in your life is to submit yourself fully to God’s grace.  A person who knows deep within himself just how much he owes to the grace of God, just how much that grace has blessed him and how truly he owes his entire self to his gracious Savior—this is a person who is incapable of bitterness.  A pond that is constantly being filled by sweet, fresh water from a deep source cannot turn brackish.  A room with the windows open to allow a lively spring breeze to blow through it, from one end to the other, will not become stale and stuffy.  And a person whose whole mind and heart and soul are being refreshed hourly by the knowledge of a gracious God, a God who does not treat him as his sins deserve, cannot turn bitter.  As the truth continually flows into him, it will purge away grudges and malicious thoughts before they have a chance to take shape.  Unrighteous anger, self-centered jealousy, a festering sense of having been wronged—all of the sources of long-lasting bitterness in the human heart—will be torn out before they can ever grow to become a poisonous and destructive influence.

            Christians, above all people, should know that bitterness is both satanic and foolish, utterly unworthy of the God we serve.  What is bitterness but repeated accusation of your brothers, until the habit of accusing sinks down within you and becomes part of your basic character?  But we are children of God, and accusation is the way of the devil.  “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down” (Revelation 12:10).  The Hebrew name “Satan” means “an adversary” or “one who opposes [by bringing accusations].”  Likewise the name “Devil” comes from Greek and refers to an “accuser” or “slanderer.”

But God’s nature is the very opposite of this, so much so that the coming of His kingdom is synonymous with the defeat of the Accuser.  Just as lying is forbidden to the children of God because it belongs not to our heavenly Father but to the Devil (John 8:42-46), so a life full of accusations is unthinkable for us.  Our Father is a Defender (Psalm 68:5), Christ is an Advocate in our favor (1 John 2:1), and the Holy Spirit is also an Advocate or Helper, who comes to strengthen and encourage the people to whom He is sent (John 14-16).  While the Spirit of God also convicts the world of sin (John 16:8-11) and God the Father does not acquit those who hold on to their guilt (Exodus 34:6-7), these things are enveloped within the fundamental character of God, which is love (1 John 4:8, 16).  We who are the children of God and not of the Devil are called to the same kind of life.  Rebuking sin and announcing judgment are sometimes necessary, but the highest and deepest quality of our being must always be the love of God—the love that seeks above all to forgive and bless and reconcile.  Anything less is not just a failure in interpersonal relationships; it is a kind of blasphemy, as we distort the character of the Lord whose name we bear.

            We see, then, that God-imitating love is the cure for bitterness in its beginnings.  But what if bitterness has already gained a place in the life of a Christian?  Being bitter against other people might seem to be a uniquely difficult sin to deal with.  Bitterness puts down gnarled roots that extend over time into every corner of a person’s mind and heart.  However, the basic answer to entrenched bitterness is just the same as to any other sin: repent!

When the Samaritan sorcerer Simon tried to buy the gift of the Holy Spirit with money, Peter rebuked him for his bitterness and unrighteousness.   (Simon himself had formerly been the “great power” of that region with his satanic miracles, and he must have thought that he could restore himself to his former position of power by using his money to buy the Holy Spirit.)  Simon needed to be healed of this bitterness, and Peter’s exhortation to him was simple: Repent of your wickedness, and pray to God for forgiveness (Acts 8:5-24).  No matter what a person’s sin may be, even if it is the deep-rooted and destructive curse of bitterness, turning to God in repentance is the beginning of a way out of it.

            What does it mean to repent from bitterness?  Like all repentance, this kind of repentance requires a person to be completely open to God first of all.  It does no good to “repent” by mentally acknowledging that certain past actions were wrong, unless you come to God directly and confess to His face that you have sinned in those things.  Confession itself is not effective unless you hate the sin you have committed, and promise before God, by His strength in you, no longer to hold on to the thoughts or say the words or do the actions that have expressed bitterness until now.  And even if you have confessed the sin of bitterness and all that goes with it to God, and have determined to turn your back on it forever, you are not finished with it until you go out and make right any actual wrongs you have done to others.

God offers full forgiveness for confessed sins, even the tangled web of sin that is bitterness.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).   But His forgiveness requires the restoration of peace (as far as it is possible) between Himself and you and every other person that your sin of bitterness has affected.  If you are not willing to confess to others any harsh words you have spoken to them, to seek forgiveness for any cruel actions you have taken that also expressed the bitterness that was deep within you—if you refuse to do these things, you have not truly repented of the sin of bitterness.  But if you call on God for His grace in making everything right and resolving all the hurts of bitterness, He will strengthen you in this difficult task and bless you for your obedience.

If you obey God in this way, then God will do for you the same miracle that He did for the ancient Israelites by the waters of Marah.  When the people came to the water, it was so bitter that it was undrinkable, no good to a people who were parched with thirst.  But God did a miracle and made the water sweet, and the whole nation refreshed its thirst there (Exodus 15:23-25).  If you harbor bitterness against others, you will bring pain and sorrow to many people, beginning with yourself.  But if you come to God in humility and seek to have your whole self transformed by His miracle of healing, then the bitter water that was stagnant within you will be replaced by the living water of the Holy Spirit (John 7:37-39), flowing out from you to bring refreshment and life wherever it goes.